This post may be hard to express and even harder to understand but there is a change going on with me. I have been watching the Duggar's who are a family of 20 or something (I've lost count) and they are very religious and faithful and wonderful. Their show is so stinking boring and I love it! It just shows the intricacies of a large family and it's like a study guide for me. I keep trying to figure out the appeal of me watching some kids go to the dentist together or making pickles and I've nailed it. It's their mom - Michelle. She is my hero! She is such an incredible mom but not only that. Here's the clincher - she does it all with a smile! A smile! She LOVES being a mom and gushes out joy of life and momhood from every pore. She loves her little souls around her and I get it! She is my role model because she has 20 kids and I've never seen her get exasperated or yell. She just goes with it and treats each child so well. That's me now! I have really been working on not being impatient and just smiling and if I do have something to say, I get down on their level and look in their yes and just say it matter of factly and they obey and it's truly revolutionary.
You see, I think I've been living my life wrong. Sad to say. I've been playing the game. Such a silly game too. I didn't think I was but I was. I wasn't playing it as crazy as some folks do but I still was but now I realize the game doesn't even matter, not one bit! What matters - and here comes the important stuff - is treating every single every single day like a gift and treating every single person I come in contact with like the Savior would. Truly seeing at their level. Truly respecting them. Truly loving them and understanding them and - here is another clincher - not caring what they do in return.
Now I'm a work in progress. I'm gonna have some slip ups but the slip ups don't define me. What defines me is the person I am every day and I can begin in my home with my great children and my wonderful husband. I can make the perfect effort every day to make them feel 100% wonderful around me and like they have someone who loves them no matter what and supports them.
I so desperately want everyone around me to leave me feeling like their life is a little better. I want them to hold themselves a little higher every time they interact with me. Dear Lord, my desire is true, pure, and honest. Please help me to accomplish this earnest endeavor. Please help me to define myself going forward as one who loves others as the Savior loves. Who nurtures and supports and uplifts. I can do this! I know I can. And I can start in my home. Amen! Amen!!!
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